The Important Things in Life

Sooooo… An amazing, magical site full of wonderfulism and merrimentness. I figured I would start posting something monthly or weekly, in which I might open up some discussion. The topics will be heartfelt…a mix of subjects that are so important to society today that we just cannot afford to ignore them, and topics so dear to the soul that it is simply our moral obligation as humans to discuss. Which brings me to the first of many such subjects: David Hasselhoff. Yes, he is brilliant. Yes, he may be one of the greatest actors of all time (surpassing such greats as Humphrey Bogart, Sean Connery, Meryl Streep, and Yahoo Serious). Yes, if someone were to ask you if you were gay while showing you a picture of Sir Hasselhoff lying on the hood of a Camaro in a leather jacket, there would most likely be a very long pause before you answered. We all know and accept these things, that’s a given. But what is happening lately with His Majesty concerns me. I’m sure by now everyone has heard about Doc Hasselhoff’s drinking binge that was video taped by his daughter Taylor (well of course you heard about it, D.H. refuses to take the backseat to trivial issues in this world like war, thousands of people dying on a regular basis in Africa, the senseless violence in our universities, many of our administration’s officials, both democrat and republican, that either cannot finish 3 sentences in a row without at least 6 words that are not technically part of any human language, or have a really, really big fondness of young boys). Admiral Hasselhoff, you are the thread that has held this crazy world together. You have been the transmission to our Kit. You have been the Mitch Buchannon to our CJ Parker. I, for one, will not stand by as The Hoff falls from his pedestal of awesomeness. Please Mr. David Hasselhoff…come back to us. The world is so wrong and only you can once again make it so right. Our collective feelings can only be summarized by a line from Hofftastic’s 1989 German Pop-chart hit “Looking for Freedom”:
“I’ve been looking for freedom
I’ve been looking so long
I’ve been looking for freedom
Still the search goes on
I’ve been looking for freedom
Since I left my home town
I’ve been looking for freedom
Still it can’t be found”
The ironic thing, Sweet Hoffinator, is that we are all looking for freedom and you, Sir, are the only one that can set us free.

4 Responses to “The Important Things in Life”

  1. Johnny Come Lately Says:

    This is….well….interesting. I hope everyone aspires to one day be videotaped by their impressionable young daughter in the midst of a bender. It just reaks of class and good taste. Who ever said celebrities aren’t great role models for happy living.

  2. Hoff Lover Says:

    I agree. But if there wasn’t a Hasselhoff, wouldn’t your heart be just a little emptier? I think you know the answer.

  3. The Hoffinator Says:

    Watching the Hoff makes me feel better about my own short comings. It takes real talent to publicly humiliate yourself over and over without a care. Here’s to you -O King of the Public Humiliation.

  4. Daniel Says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article The Important Things in Life, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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