IrishBeat.com

Do you remember those Calvin and Hobbes cartoons? Here’s a great tribute to the snow man torture scenes Calvin used to make in the front yard.

They say we should be able to laugh at ourselves, so in that spirit here’s a couple jokes for you share tomorrow. Happy St Patrick’s Day. I hope you have a fun and safe day.

3 Pints of Guinness

This Irish guy shows up in a pub one day and orders three pints
of Guinness. He takes sips from each glass until they are empty
and calls the bartender for three more. The bartender says, “Hey, pal,
I don’t mind bringing one at a time, then they’ll be fresh and cold.”

“Nah… ahm preferrin’ that ya bring ’em three at a time. You see, me
and me two brothers would meet at a pub and drink and have good
times. Now one is in Australia, the other in Canada and I’m here.
We agreed before we split up that we’d drink this way to each
other’s honor.”

“Well,” says the bartender, “that’s a damn good sentimental thing
to do. I’ll bring the pints as you ask.”

Well, time goes on and the Irishman’s peculiar habit is known and
accepted by all the pub regulars. One day, the Irishman comes in
and orders only two pints. A hush falls over the pub. Naturally,
everyone figures something happened to one of the brothers. A
bunch of the regulars corner the bartender and finally persuade him
to find out what happened.

With a heavy heart, the bartender brings the two pints and says,
“Here’s your pints… and let me offer my sincerest condolences.
What happened?”

The Irishman looks extremely puzzled for a moment. When the light
comes on in his head, he starts laughing. “No, no! ‘Tis nothing like
that. You see, I’ve given up drinking for Lent.

Two Irishmen

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and
watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a baptist minister walk into the brothel,
and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see
a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the
other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see
that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”

Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel,
and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible
pity… one of the poor lasses must be gravely ill.”